Scorpio

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A scorpio man who cheated on me.

And God knows how many women he’s involved with before me.

He is loving, responsible, driven..those I agree. Very caring indeed. and such a sweet talker he is, I almost made my mind to spend the rest of my life with him. But I found out all his lies he’s been trying to hide from me, though he thought no one knows the truth except him. I know he truly cares for me…but that was when he’s lonely and now that his eyes are set on another woman (since we’re on LDR few months ago)….I don’t know if I can believe the loving words coming out from his mouth anymore…I wish he’d be frank with me and let me go instead of cheating like this. A good friend, a good person, a kind heart (I’ve known him for quite a while), I just can’t believe such person who appears so beautiful from the outside is a unfaithful man. I love him so much and it tears my heart and I feel half of me is dying, but I guess it’s time to let go before it kills me. I wont expose his lies because I truly love him but I can’t tolerate them anymore, and the fact that he still acts as if nothing happened and keeps on lying breaks me more…I know it won’t be difficult for him to get another woman. His strong and driven personality is charming to many, I believe. Sometimes I wonder if he will always get away with his lies like this….

I need your kind support or advice, if you don’t mind :’)

[Anonymous]

Hi Grace;

He may be beautiful on the outside, but true beauty needs to come from the inside out. He seems to lack this. I’m very sorry for what you have been through with this guy. Some people only tell you what you want to hear. They can’t speak the truth and have bragging rights to how many women they have or have been with.

You do not want to be around someone like that. They are toxic to you and destroy you emotionally, physically and spiritually and usually they never change. He would have a very easy time getting a new g/f because of his superficial charm. Be with someone that will love and respect you for who you are. Someone who will treat you with respect and treat you like a lady.

Individuals who cheat on us make it very difficult to trust anyone else. It also destroys our self-esteem and self-confidence. I always tell people to start doing some nice things for themselves. Take care of themselves. Reconnect with your friends and do some things that you have always wanted to do or enjoy doing with them. Go out and buy something special for yourself that you have been saving for. Go out and get your hair or nails done. After all hun, you deserve it!

[Anonymous]

Grace,

Accepting his lies does NOT consititute ‘loving him’ (as you said you wouldn’t expose his lies because you love him). This is a bad excuse for being afraid to hear THE TRUTH i.e. his possible confirmation that he really does cheat. If you are 100% sure – you HAVE to let him know, honestly and without being afraid that he will walk out on you. Honestly and fearlessness are the two things which will keep a Scorpio man. Fearlessness means not to be afraid of rejection. You are, because you are not bringing up issues which ruin your relationship (in your case – cheating). Give him a chance to come clean. If he doesn’t – walk away. He will have a lot of thinking to do, and one of those thoughts would be ‘She was brave to stand up to my bullshit’. Because he DOES know his own (and yours, believe it or not) bullshit.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Grace hun, don’t listen to this b.s! Once a cheater, always a cheater! You cannot change them or wait for them to “come clean”. You could wait till the earth cracks open and still he won’t “come clean”! That’s their issue, not yours. You do what’s right for you and for your well-being.

You have a right to your own happiness and if he wants to repopulate the whole earth with other women, let him do that. They will eventually find out about him.

 

Blessings to you Grace!

[bistySix]

Scorpios are reflective… Like water. They are a water sign!!   think of them as a large  bowl of water that you have to carry from one end of your house to the other. Over carpet, over obstacles on the floor… The water is filled to to the brim. You keep the bowl close so water doesn’t splash out. You can see your reflection in the water because you are watching the bowl so intently so that you don’t spill any of it. And then just as you get to the other side of the house there is something on the floor you have to maneuver around… And you spill some anyway! Scorpios are filled to the brim… And sometimes those emotions run over. And they reflect you. So if you don’t got it together… They won’t respect you… And you get shenanigans! But if you know who you are and can kindly, gently, patiently relay yourself and your love to him… That is what you will get in return. Quite honestly that is with any man. This man will reflect your tone of voice, your anger, or your kindness… So you pick.

I think this society is so intent on getting what they want quickly- that everybody wants answers RIGHT NOW!!! 
Do you love me ? 
Do you want to be with me?
Will you stay? Is this forever? These are questions many people demand of there partners… But yet can’t answer themselves or live up to it.  A Scorpio looks for hard evidence in action to know if your true or not. He doesn’t really want just a quickie to get off – he wants someone to be patient and and show him how to be. So he can reflect it.

 Instant love in a fast-food society. McMarriages based on how many dates you’ve gone on and girls saying things like – “well it’s times for him to shit or get off the pot!” This idea of quick process is pervasive and detrimental to men AND woman. You can’t rush someone else’s process… Or your own.  

To be with any man… But especially a scorp… You have to be willing to allow that process to unfold naturally so that he trusts you. This could take a long time. And a lot of people aren’t willing to wait. They think after a few weeks this guy should know how he feels… And again that is not how men work… Especially scorps!  If you are involved with one- take it slow slow. Carry the water bowl. If you are in love with a sorpio man… Offer love and support unconditionally. With out expecting any of it in return. I mean any of it!  If you are frustrated and Do Not have a handle on your emotions… Don’t vent this to him and expect him to understand. He’ll understand ONE thing – that you don’t have self control -and there Can’t be two of those. So if you are frustrated about something… Take some time to get the words- than say them directly in a gentle low tone… That is kind. The kindness comes from you wanting him to understand you. And then… DROP iT!  This is what he’ll respect. This is when he will ponder. This is what he will ultimately respond to. And if you aren’t up his ass asking him if he thought about what you said and what does he think… He’ll respect you even more.  You don’t have to teach lessons in relationships… If that is what you like in a man… A project… This dude ain’t for you. He knows himself and he craves a woman who knows herself… And knows how to be kind.   There can be testing… For sure…. But if your solid… It’s not a worry. Or something to take personally or get upset about. If he starts pulling shenanigans – back off. When he comes around again… Don’t ask why he was acting like a maniac… DROP IT! He’ll be grateful to you for that. And when he pulls shenanigans again… Back off… Don’t explain why – he knows. But your actions are telling him you won’t accept that kind of behavior. And your not. Rewarding the behavior. Further more your don’t have to have a long effing discussion about it – just go back to your life. Pretty soon he’ll understand the pattern and knock it off. 

Any guy (or girl) will take advantage of you if you let them… Any zodiac sign… That is human nature.  if you don’t know yourself well the easiest excuse to use is “he plays mind games, he’s a womanizer, he’s insensitive, he cheats, he this… He that. And the truth is this guy, specifically, will reflect what your putting out.   Because scorps  know themselves so well they will demand that you rise to them just by their existence.  However – what they want more than anything is a woman they can rise to.

If you are the type of woman who needs constant reassurance this is not the guy for you… He’ll go out of his way to NOT reassure you- just so you can learn the lesson not ever ask for more than he is giving. Is that hypocritical … YUP… But for good reason. He is protecting his heart. And this is how a Scorpio does it.  

See,  if you are asking for more with this dude … It means your paying attention to wrong things… It means your dwelling on only the negative… And he doesn’t want that kind of woman… He wants someone who is powerfully feminine and strong in her conviction. She doesn’t have to raise her voice or throw a tantrum to get what she needs – she offers it without asking for it in return. You have to HAVE TO validate yourself in this relationship. If you are arguing, if he is miserably pulling shenanigans, if he is jealous don’t reflect that emotion… Don’t get caught in that emotional storm he is having inside him right now… Be calm… In a low gentle voice ask him if he’s ok. If he says yes… Leave him alone. Stay your kind gentle course… And the storm will pass. I promise. When he trusts your CONSISTENCY – he will begin to return your gifts. But remember he’s reflecting your emotions as well as having his own – the bowl is sloshing about… Steady it. 

[Anonymous]

Bistysix,

Bravo!! You’ve absolutely nailed it! That’s a Scorpio man to a ‘t’ and if women could understand all those, the tendency to mirror our own neurotic behaviour, the contempt for (unconscious) female manipulations, the desire to honour and revere a TRUE woman, not a girl – for ever- how many of those women would gain a mate dreams are made of. A man should make us ladies feel slightly uncomfortable, to explore our own depths. This is what a Scorpio man is asking us – do we know ourselves inside out, and which of those dark character tendencies are going to trip the relationship in the future. Because he wants – for ever. With the ONE.

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It is not that a scorpio man goes on finding several women, it is the otherway that several women fall after a scorpio man. It is scorpio man who is instinctively attractive and sexually appealing for which several women get attracted towards him and make their affection obvious to him. Scorpio man is rather shy in nature and often initially pretends innocence and ignorance about the overtures of women. But remember, the scorpio man, being a water sign, is highly emotional inside with scorpionic sex drive. He stings those women who tread his path. He is sober in behaviour. He respects those women who give him love and feels grateful to them for their love. It is always the desire of scorpio to be loyal, faithful and exemplary in love with each women. But his vrtues are at the root of his problems with women. To put it simply, when several women want to get close to, a scorpio man with high level of emotion and sex drive falls prey/yields to, where everywoman is jealous about the other women and feels cheated. PR

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Bistysix – excellent postinbg, thanks

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