Questions and Answers

[Anonymous]

 

I’m a Sagittarius female, he’s a Scorpio male.

We met in high school.  He stared at me a lot and at first I thought it was weird, but then I started to get curious about him.  This soon turned into a crush.  We never talked, but we had a lot of eye sex.  Then one day I got up the courage to talk to him, and we started to become friends.    We talked about all kinds of stuff, and ocassionally he would mention his ex-girlfriend.  It seemed, to me at least, that he would bring her up out of the blue, as if testing to see if I was jealous.  We eventually added each other on Myspace.  Then came summer.

 

I put my aim screename on my profile to see if he would try to message me and not more than 30 minutes later, I got an unknown message.  He pretended that he knew me but that I didn’t know him.  It was kinda flirtatious.  Finally after I kept asking if he was him, he said he was.  We started talking online for hours at a time, sometimes late into the night.

 

Occasionally we would have little fights over stupid random things.  It would make me mad but craving more.  All my friends thought he liked me.  I figured it was time to make my move, and I told him I liked him.  Then he said “I know.”  I asked him if he liked me and he said he doesn’t like anyone besides his girlfriend. (His myspace said “single” the whole time) And I said I thought she was your ex, and he said it was complicated, but he still wanted to be friends.  I really did like having him as a friend, so I tried to push my feelings aside.

 

Everything was totally normal the next day, and for about a week we were okay. Then we started up fighting more than ever, he seemed more sensitive to everything, anything I said he would set him off, seemingly for no reason. I just had this gut feeling that he liked me, and I told him that I didn’t believe him, asking why he would spend so much time talking to me if he had a girlfriend, and he said he was just being my effing friend. Eventually I blocked him and sent him a message saying that he strung me along just so he could have an ego boost, and that I didn’t want to be friends anymore.

 

Summer was over and I was dreading seeing him on the day back.  I got myself involved in other things to keep my mind off him. When he saw me had this huge smile and asking how I was doing and all these questions, and I was just giving little bits of nothing.  Then he said I was awfully quiet.  And I snapped at him, saying I was busy.  After that, he was in dual enrollment and was almost never in class anymore.  And that was the last thing we said.  We graduated, and his “girlfriend” was there. 

 

Then a couple years later, I was completely over it, and I found him while randomly browsing a dating website.  I sent him a message saying that it was weird that I saw him on there.  Then we started talking like friends again.  Then he asked something that completely floored me.  He asked if I was interested in something physical.  I was seriously considering it, because I was still a virgin and really horny.  But I eventually thought it over and realized it was a bad idea.  I was getting a lot of creeps contacting me on the dating site, so I decided to delete my profile.  I sent him a message telling him so, and that he could talk to me on facebook.  And not a day later, there was a message with his phone number and asking to hook up.

 

I called the number with absolute certainty and said no.  But somehow he completely changed my mind.  So I went to his house during the day and we had lots of sex.  I was happy to finally get some, but not even a little bit of interest in him “that way”.  I told him that it was fun but couldn’t happen again, and wouldn’t you know it, I ended up going again.  Except this time it was overnight.  And so was every other time.  

 

Now correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t generally a bad idea to have a girl sleep over if you’re just in it for the sex?  And staring into her eyes, talking about life and the universe, about how I was a bitch but a cool bitch, about how we had an understanding, that I “got” him?  He never wanted to snuggle, cuddle, kiss or even touch and if I tried to touch him even a little he would get really mad. But one night I was awake and facing the opposite direction in bed and all of a sudden felt him grab me by the waist and pull me close.  I don’t know if he was asleep, or if he knew I was awake, but it was weird to say the least.  And a lot of times when I would wake up he’d be pretty close to me, and if he woke up and realized it he would move away real quickly.

 

One time he tried to give me a shotgun (blow smoke into my mouth) but I didn’t want to do any drugs. When his face came close to mine, I froze up, completely rigid, eyes open, mouth tightly shut.  He immediately said something along the lines of I’d better stop trying or you won’t like me anymore.  I was still kind of in shock and was trying to talk about it but he completely shut me out.  It seemed like each time we hung out, the more longingly he’d look at me, but at the same time, every time I’d get a little bit closer he would take a huge step back.  One time I saw a picture of him as a kid in another room and was like awww and he got really mad and told me to get out immediately.  He never talked about his childhood and got really defensive about it.

 

He seemed to just treat me like shit, he would mention other girls a lot, and get mad if I mentioned other guys, ran hot and cold, kept me in the dark for weeks about when our next meeting would be, and I was just feeling really drained.  I told him I couldn’t do it anymore and he was just treating me like shit.  He denied it but practically got hysterical when I told him I didn’t want to be fwb anymore.  This was actually like the third time I “left” him, same story each time, freak out if I tried to leave and then be insanely happy and nice when I came back.  But this time, I was done.  I had developed feelings for him again and I could just not deal with it anymore.  It has now been almost 2 years that I have had absolutely no contact with him whatsoever.

 

I go through periods where I unwillingly dream about him and obsess for days, and then thank god sometimes my subconscious gives me a break and lets me live my life.  What I really need is closure, but I will never get it from him, because if he gives me closure, he can’t keep me tangled in his stupid web anymore.  So I’m coming here for closure.

 

1. Is this normal Scorpio behavior or an abusive relationship?

2.  Do you honestly think he had feelings for me at any point?

3.  If you think that he did or does have feelings for me, how should I continue?  I do wish I could make this work, as long as it’s just his Scorpio testing and not abuse.

4. And another thing that came to mind, does he sound like he had an abusive childhood, specifically sexual abuse?

 

Any insight is extremely appreciated.  I need to get this crap out of my head once and for all.

[Ask Oracle]

Run. Save your life.

 

1. Is this normal Scorpio behavior or an abusive relationship?

Abusive. One would never doubt a loving relationship.

 

2.  Do you honestly think he had feelings for me at any point?

Doesn’t matter. Feelings come and go. You experience love for a small duration, it never lasts forever.

 

3.  If you think that he did or does have feelings for me, how should I continue?  I do wish I could make this work, as long as it’s just his Scorpio testing and not abuse.

Focus on your health, well being and say no to all bad experiences.

 

4. And another thing that came to mind, does he sound like he had an abusive childhood, specifically sexual abuse?

 None of your business, he should deal with his problems. Don’t bother, this will traumatize you in long term. 80% of human population is in a total mess, you can’t do much anyway.

[Author]

Posts