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how to deal with this scorpio man?
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I need advice on how to deal with/ progress with this scorpio man. To make a long story short – we have never been in an official relationship, just rather a friendship but he came on strong a few years ago when we met for the first time. It’s been only 2 months since we started ‘dating’. I mean we have never discussed the dating thing between us but as I have always been interested in him I wanted to see where we can go with it. He seemed interested as well. He invited me to his place and wanted to kiss me but because earlier on he wrote in an email that he was treating the thing between us as an acquaintance, I didn’t let him kiss me although I was dying for it LOL. We spent the whole evening talking, seeing how much we had in common despite age difference (I’m 29 he’s 45) and decided to meet again at my place. We did and for me it was fun but I felt we lacked more physical intimacy and could feel he felt similar way. However, none of us ever really tried to get really physical (we first dated a bit 5 yrs ago with similar effect – it always looks like he wants me to start physical things but I feel it should be him to initiate and he only found courage once – the thing with the kiss – when I thought it was just a friendly acquaintance). Nonetheless, I feel magical connection and believe it’s the only man for me. After that last meeting at my place I texted him 3 days later (as I usually did) to thank him for the meeting and I wrote him in a funny way that my son liked him a lot. This time he didn’t reply, I waited 10 days more and wrote another, just casual text and he replied also casually. I suggested a meeting, he didn’t write back. A few days later I wrote him a longer email stating that I liked the way our acquaintance started to beautifully develop and that I was surprised he stopped. I wrote him he had the right to do it and I understand it but for me it was really ok. I let him know that it started to be a really important thing for me and I put a lot of energy into this and thought he did as well. I also wrote that if that was time to go separate ways it’s ok for me but I just wanted him to know how I felt about what we had. He didn’t reply for 3 days and the 3rd day I came across him at the university where I study and he is a professor (but he is from a totally different department – never possible to teach me) and we just smiled and stared at each other for almost a minute LOL , then he chased me around the university the whole day. In the evening he replied to that email of mine: “I don’t know what to write. I admire you as a brave, mature and extraordinary person and to be honest you arise my interest. However, interest is not a reason to make pretence that it’s something more than liking. Probably it’s time to go separate ways, what I’ve been doing for years.” This last sentence was probably suggestion that for the past 5 years I didn’t want this acquaintance to die and wanted to stay friends and he in fact responded well to it over years.
I wrote back that I thank him for honesty and also that the it was him who made the pretence as he wrote about it. I also suggested that it’s then good we didn’t progress too far (I meant the sex) despite many occasions and I also wrote it was a pity but ok. I only wanted to know whether we are keeping the acquaintance as a friendly one or we are just getting rid of it altogether. I had to write it like that because it was a painful thing for me. I then wrote another email stating that I think he is an unusual man and I want him to be happy because he deserves it. I also suggested that probably in the past he was appreciated enough by someone (I knew about his ex-wife) and that that person should regret it and that I think he should open up to beautiful things for his own sake. I wished him all the best. He responded to this email like that: “my hands and falling down, and not only
“.It’s been several days since those last messages. In the previous one he wished merry xmas for me and my son – he always remembers about him. I know I love this guy and I want him to be with me but I just don’t know what to do. I think the ball is in his court now but wouldn’t he think I cut him off completely? I wrote those emails like that as recently it’s been mostly me initiating contact and I wanted to see his true feelings. What is your advice – is there any hope of having him back? Like, should write to/ phone him? Or wait? I even thought of saying sth like: “you ruined me for all other man” but I just don’t know how he would react. Any help?
update:
Over the past 2 weeks I wrote him 2 or 3 messages, the last one being quite long and explaining why we couldn’t do anything together at the beginning (when he was courting me) – he knew it even earlier and understood. I also explained or rather apologized for not taking the ‘bait’ 3 months ago when he invited me over – I wrote him that I just didn’t want to make any false movement in this relation because his opinion was very important to me and I didn’t want to damage anything in this relation. I wrote that it was my fault and I understand that he might be tired of it all now. I also wrote him that he didn’t have to answer to that email, which he didn’t do and that for me it is time to take care of my emotions and cool down. Today I came across him several times at our university and he was nervous but smiled to me a few times making sure I saw him when I was speaking to my male friends. Then, at the end of the day I noticed him mirroring my old behaviour. What do you think? Is it a good sign?
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